Saturday, January 21, 2006
I've Gotten Older
Tonight on the way home from the store, I opted to stay in the right lane, rather than gun it all the way home in the passing lane, as I recall doing in my youth.
I was enjoying just 'being in the stream' of traffic, modulating my speed with the ebb and flow of those in front of me and those behind me.
People would pass me by in the left lane, clearly traveling above the speed limit. 'Fools', I would think. Why don't they slow down?
I swear it was like looking into the past as I'd see kids whizzing by, cigarettes dangling from their rolled down windows, flicking butts at will. 'Philistines' I would think. No wonder there's so much litter!
As I was driving, I had time to think, as I was in the passenger lane.
I thought about how when I was younger, my pleasure was without root, always smoldering on the surface, highly emotional.
I'm older now I thought.
I don't feel the 'rush' of new experiences like I used to.
Heck, I've experienced quite a lot in my years and I'm settled in now.
Pleasure now, could be mistaken for numbness, as I don't feel like I used to.
But really what pleasure I experience, is now felt on a much deeper level than emotion.
And great magnitude in experience is no longer needed.
It's the simple things now.
A drive in the passenger lane on the way home.
A sunset.
A drive by an old church I used to attend.
An hour spent reading.
A chess game with my son.
A conversation with my wife.
Now, I can experience 'lesser' events that provide a deeper movement.
Because now, experiences come with memories.
While I'm getting my oil changed, I remember changing the sparkplugs in the old family Studebacher with my dad.
When I do laundry, I recall helping my indian next door neighbor wash her clothes and put them through the ringer in the basement of her house.
My son will look at me and ask something and I will remember looking at my dad and asking him something. 'Will you wait at the basement door for me so I can go down there and get something'?
These echoes that I hear, and through some magical synesthesia, see, are deeply satisfying.
From father to son to father to son.
From mother to son to father to son.
And now, with a little bit of age on me, I think of the following:
It makes sense that the heavier the object, when dropped in the lake, the deeper it will sink into the mud at the bottom.
But the reverse is true for my experience now.
Just the slightest, most refined, most miniscule, event can sink so swiftly and so deeply into the mud at the bottom of my psyche.
A handshake. A smile. A nod. An acknowledgement.
All so subtle. All so meaningful!
The elemental stages of life.
From the time I was a little boy up until I was at least thirty five.
Fire.
I was restless. Constantly moving. Hot. Spirited. Taut. Consuming. Anarchic. Disrespectful. Intemperate. Cocky. Maddening.
From thirty five to now.
Plunged into...Water.
Shocked. Settled down. Reflective. Quiet. Loose. Contributing. Hierarchical. Respectful. Moderate. Confident. Sane.
Perhaps, in regards to my pleasures, one would say I am settling for less.
But I know I've fallen up and am settling for more.
I wish you much the same, my friends.
Tonight on the way home from the store, I opted to stay in the right lane, rather than gun it all the way home in the passing lane, as I recall doing in my youth.
I was enjoying just 'being in the stream' of traffic, modulating my speed with the ebb and flow of those in front of me and those behind me.
People would pass me by in the left lane, clearly traveling above the speed limit. 'Fools', I would think. Why don't they slow down?
I swear it was like looking into the past as I'd see kids whizzing by, cigarettes dangling from their rolled down windows, flicking butts at will. 'Philistines' I would think. No wonder there's so much litter!
As I was driving, I had time to think, as I was in the passenger lane.
I thought about how when I was younger, my pleasure was without root, always smoldering on the surface, highly emotional.
I'm older now I thought.
I don't feel the 'rush' of new experiences like I used to.
Heck, I've experienced quite a lot in my years and I'm settled in now.
Pleasure now, could be mistaken for numbness, as I don't feel like I used to.
But really what pleasure I experience, is now felt on a much deeper level than emotion.
And great magnitude in experience is no longer needed.
It's the simple things now.
A drive in the passenger lane on the way home.
A sunset.
A drive by an old church I used to attend.
An hour spent reading.
A chess game with my son.
A conversation with my wife.
Now, I can experience 'lesser' events that provide a deeper movement.
Because now, experiences come with memories.
While I'm getting my oil changed, I remember changing the sparkplugs in the old family Studebacher with my dad.
When I do laundry, I recall helping my indian next door neighbor wash her clothes and put them through the ringer in the basement of her house.
My son will look at me and ask something and I will remember looking at my dad and asking him something. 'Will you wait at the basement door for me so I can go down there and get something'?
These echoes that I hear, and through some magical synesthesia, see, are deeply satisfying.
From father to son to father to son.
From mother to son to father to son.
And now, with a little bit of age on me, I think of the following:
It makes sense that the heavier the object, when dropped in the lake, the deeper it will sink into the mud at the bottom.
But the reverse is true for my experience now.
Just the slightest, most refined, most miniscule, event can sink so swiftly and so deeply into the mud at the bottom of my psyche.
A handshake. A smile. A nod. An acknowledgement.
All so subtle. All so meaningful!
The elemental stages of life.
From the time I was a little boy up until I was at least thirty five.
Fire.
I was restless. Constantly moving. Hot. Spirited. Taut. Consuming. Anarchic. Disrespectful. Intemperate. Cocky. Maddening.
From thirty five to now.
Plunged into...Water.
Shocked. Settled down. Reflective. Quiet. Loose. Contributing. Hierarchical. Respectful. Moderate. Confident. Sane.
Perhaps, in regards to my pleasures, one would say I am settling for less.
But I know I've fallen up and am settling for more.
I wish you much the same, my friends.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
There is theurgy, high magic that gains the favor of the gods by developing sympathies with them.
There is low magic, which intends to manipulate the gods by way of spells and incantations.
Then there is deep magic, the magic of C.S. Lewis in the Chronicles of Narnia.
The deep magic existed before Aslan, and required Aslan to be sacrificed for the sake of traitorous man.
The deep magic requires Aslan to die so that Edmund, who is capricious, dishonest and certainly unworthy of becoming royal, may become true, honest and regal, ultimately to be called Edmund the Just.
Later in the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Lewis has Edmund be the quiet one of the four sibling Kings / Queens.
He is relied on by the others for good counsel.
I would have it that Edmund is quiet because he has the deep wisdom that his being just is due to a sacrifice that had to be made for him.
He knows he is regal, a son of Adam and a child of God because Aslan was humiliated and killed in his stead.
Quite the heady mixture for such a young boy.
I am a christian.
But due to various experiences I have had, some of which I would dare to say have been mystical, I have wondered about magic.
I have never studied the subject with any seriousnesss, but have read a few 'metaphysical' books on the subject.
First of all, I am inclined to believe magic is real. I believe there are those among us who have tapped into it's power and have even used it for personal ends.
But can I partake of magic as a christian?
Other than this deep magic that preceded Aslan, or Christ, no.
Reason has it's limits.
I can say:
All deer have legs.
Socrates had legs.
Therefore, Socrates was a deer.
The syllogism is manifestly wrong, but reasonably true.
Since pure reason has limits, and since man's lot is to continually push the limits, he has discovered all sorts of ways to do this pushing.
Man pushes the limit of reason toward the divine.
One of the ways is to tap into the telluric currents of nature and live accordingly.
My paternal grandmother was such a person.
Though she lived in the inner city, she was able to keep a garden that provided vegetables not only for her, but for her extended family as well.
'Mom' was first and foremost a christian, but she also had a wisdom of nature that sustained her in many ways.
She know when to plant. She knew when to harvest. She knew when to preserve, and when to bring the preserves out of the cellar to eat.
Another way to push the limits is via low magic. Here we have the reading of palms, the tarot, the stars and so on in order to divine the future.
Perhaps I need to state the obvious. What we are trying to do is bridge the gap between the limit of reason and the divine.
Am I to consult sorcerers?
No.
Being a christian, the only acceptable way for me to bridge the gap between the limit of reason nad the divine is through faith.
Don't underestimate faith.
There are objects of belief.
When Jesus healed people of various diseases and physical abnormalities, He often would say: It is by your faith that you are healed.
There no longer is a delphic oracle.
Or runes to consult.
Their magic dissipated long ago.
So magic dies. And changes.
But faith....O death where is thy sting?
There is low magic, which intends to manipulate the gods by way of spells and incantations.
Then there is deep magic, the magic of C.S. Lewis in the Chronicles of Narnia.
The deep magic existed before Aslan, and required Aslan to be sacrificed for the sake of traitorous man.
The deep magic requires Aslan to die so that Edmund, who is capricious, dishonest and certainly unworthy of becoming royal, may become true, honest and regal, ultimately to be called Edmund the Just.
Later in the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Lewis has Edmund be the quiet one of the four sibling Kings / Queens.
He is relied on by the others for good counsel.
I would have it that Edmund is quiet because he has the deep wisdom that his being just is due to a sacrifice that had to be made for him.
He knows he is regal, a son of Adam and a child of God because Aslan was humiliated and killed in his stead.
Quite the heady mixture for such a young boy.
I am a christian.
But due to various experiences I have had, some of which I would dare to say have been mystical, I have wondered about magic.
I have never studied the subject with any seriousnesss, but have read a few 'metaphysical' books on the subject.
First of all, I am inclined to believe magic is real. I believe there are those among us who have tapped into it's power and have even used it for personal ends.
But can I partake of magic as a christian?
Other than this deep magic that preceded Aslan, or Christ, no.
Reason has it's limits.
I can say:
All deer have legs.
Socrates had legs.
Therefore, Socrates was a deer.
The syllogism is manifestly wrong, but reasonably true.
Since pure reason has limits, and since man's lot is to continually push the limits, he has discovered all sorts of ways to do this pushing.
Man pushes the limit of reason toward the divine.
One of the ways is to tap into the telluric currents of nature and live accordingly.
My paternal grandmother was such a person.
Though she lived in the inner city, she was able to keep a garden that provided vegetables not only for her, but for her extended family as well.
'Mom' was first and foremost a christian, but she also had a wisdom of nature that sustained her in many ways.
She know when to plant. She knew when to harvest. She knew when to preserve, and when to bring the preserves out of the cellar to eat.
Another way to push the limits is via low magic. Here we have the reading of palms, the tarot, the stars and so on in order to divine the future.
Perhaps I need to state the obvious. What we are trying to do is bridge the gap between the limit of reason and the divine.
Am I to consult sorcerers?
No.
Being a christian, the only acceptable way for me to bridge the gap between the limit of reason nad the divine is through faith.
Don't underestimate faith.
There are objects of belief.
When Jesus healed people of various diseases and physical abnormalities, He often would say: It is by your faith that you are healed.
There no longer is a delphic oracle.
Or runes to consult.
Their magic dissipated long ago.
So magic dies. And changes.
But faith....O death where is thy sting?
Friday, January 06, 2006
The following article comes from my local paper. My comments are shown beneth the article.
Radicals to protest at funeral Group to demonstrate at services for local soldier killed in Iraq By PHILIP ELLIOTT Courier & Press staff writer 461-0783 or elliottp@courierpress.com January 6, 2006
When Army Pvt. Jonathan Pfender is buried, the sidewalks outside the funeral home will be lined with protesters. The Topeka, Kan.,-based Westboro Baptist Church has long demonstrated at gay funerals, but recently members have taken their anti-homosexual message to military funerals - even when there is no indication the deceased were gay. Pfender, 22, died when a bomb exploded near his vehicle in Iraq last Friday. Ziemer Funeral Home in Evansville is handling the arrangements. The funeral home said Thursday information on services will be published in Sunday's Evansville Courier & Press. His death, church members say, is God's punishment to a country that has turned away from the Bible. "One of (God's) weapons of choice is an (improvised explosive device)," said Shirley Phelps-Roper, the daughter of Westboro Baptist Church founder the Rev. Fred Phelps. "Our forum of choice must be soldiers' funerals. Our job is to show America her abominations. God is punishing America ..." Pfender's mother, Peggy Jo Hammond, called the plan outrageous. "He fought for their freedom and they think they're going to protest my son's funeral?" she said. "Let them show up, because they're going to be sorry they're coming. They're not going to be welcome." The church's past efforts have sparked violence, and The Southern Poverty Law Center labels Westboro Baptist Church a hate group. It enjoys tax-exempt status, and although it uses Baptist in its title, it is not affiliated with any major Baptist organization. Members picketed a Billy Graham's New York revival last year because the Southern Baptist evangelist refused to adopt their "God Hates Fags" message. The group gained its widest exposure protesting during the funeral for Matthew Shepard, a Wyoming teen who was killed because he was gay. But the church in recent years has been expanding its targets. Members demonstrated at Fred Rogers' funeral because, they said, TV's "Mr. Rogers" had a responsibility as a Presbyterian pastor to condemn gays. And last year, the church began a campaign to cause a ruckus at often media-heavy military funerals. On Monday, about 20 members protested a funeral in Wheeler, Texas. Members waved signs that read "God Hates Fag Enablers" and "God Sent the IEDs." Phelps-Roper was among them. "This generation raised a nation that believes it's OK and that God loves everyone," she said. "God doesn't love fags. God hates fags." Westboro Baptist Church, with a membership of about 100, is finding increased scorn now that slain soldiers are targets. The Kansas Legislature passed a law banning picketing at funerals, and Indiana and Oklahoma are considering similar moves to curb the church's activities. Indiana state Sen. Brent Steele has introduced legislation in response to the group's Aug. 28 protest at a Martinsville, Ind., funeral, where six Westboro members dragged U.S. flags on the ground and shouted at the soldier's family. Steele's bill would make disorderly conduct a felony punishable by a three-year prison sentence and $10,000 fine if committed during military funerals. The proposal includes funeral homes, processions and grave sites. "I've got a lot of people signed onto the bill. It looks like it will pass without trouble," the Bedford, Ind., Republican said. "I don't think there will be a bit of trouble." The bill will be heard in committee Jan. 11. Phelps-Roper, a lawyer like her disbarred father, said any measure would be challenged. The church operates Web sites www.GodHatesFags.com, www.SmellTheBrimstone.com and www.PriestsRapeBoys.com that are filled with intentionally incendiary material. For example, church leaders sent a news release celebrating the deadly Nov. 6 Evansville-area tornado. "Thank God for the Indiana Tornado that killed 22, injured 230 ... We humbly pray for many such visitations of God's wrath on Indiana," they wrote. And this week, they lauded the death of the West Virginia miners and announced plans to picket those funerals as well. Phelps-Roper said death is divine retribution for tolerating homosexuality. "America has sinned away its day of grace," she said. "America is doomed."
My Comments...
There is a video of the musical group the Chieftans I have seen in which they are playing a concert in an old, beautiful irish church. As they are playing, there is a sign on a wall behind them that says 'God is Love'. It is this simple message I meditate on when confronted with such hatred as outlined in the above article.
The two greatest commandments, according to Jesus: Love the good Lord God with your All, and Love your neighbor as yourself.
In the above, I don't see either one of these great commandments being followed, and therefore the viciousness that is evidenced is most definitely unchristian.
While I whole-heartedly disagree with this groups philosophy, I suppose their freedom of speech should not be curtailed, as our men are over in Iraq fighting for such democratic principles.
But how unfortunate that groups such as these should be allowed such freedoms.
Radicals to protest at funeral Group to demonstrate at services for local soldier killed in Iraq By PHILIP ELLIOTT Courier & Press staff writer 461-0783 or elliottp@courierpress.com January 6, 2006
When Army Pvt. Jonathan Pfender is buried, the sidewalks outside the funeral home will be lined with protesters. The Topeka, Kan.,-based Westboro Baptist Church has long demonstrated at gay funerals, but recently members have taken their anti-homosexual message to military funerals - even when there is no indication the deceased were gay. Pfender, 22, died when a bomb exploded near his vehicle in Iraq last Friday. Ziemer Funeral Home in Evansville is handling the arrangements. The funeral home said Thursday information on services will be published in Sunday's Evansville Courier & Press. His death, church members say, is God's punishment to a country that has turned away from the Bible. "One of (God's) weapons of choice is an (improvised explosive device)," said Shirley Phelps-Roper, the daughter of Westboro Baptist Church founder the Rev. Fred Phelps. "Our forum of choice must be soldiers' funerals. Our job is to show America her abominations. God is punishing America ..." Pfender's mother, Peggy Jo Hammond, called the plan outrageous. "He fought for their freedom and they think they're going to protest my son's funeral?" she said. "Let them show up, because they're going to be sorry they're coming. They're not going to be welcome." The church's past efforts have sparked violence, and The Southern Poverty Law Center labels Westboro Baptist Church a hate group. It enjoys tax-exempt status, and although it uses Baptist in its title, it is not affiliated with any major Baptist organization. Members picketed a Billy Graham's New York revival last year because the Southern Baptist evangelist refused to adopt their "God Hates Fags" message. The group gained its widest exposure protesting during the funeral for Matthew Shepard, a Wyoming teen who was killed because he was gay. But the church in recent years has been expanding its targets. Members demonstrated at Fred Rogers' funeral because, they said, TV's "Mr. Rogers" had a responsibility as a Presbyterian pastor to condemn gays. And last year, the church began a campaign to cause a ruckus at often media-heavy military funerals. On Monday, about 20 members protested a funeral in Wheeler, Texas. Members waved signs that read "God Hates Fag Enablers" and "God Sent the IEDs." Phelps-Roper was among them. "This generation raised a nation that believes it's OK and that God loves everyone," she said. "God doesn't love fags. God hates fags." Westboro Baptist Church, with a membership of about 100, is finding increased scorn now that slain soldiers are targets. The Kansas Legislature passed a law banning picketing at funerals, and Indiana and Oklahoma are considering similar moves to curb the church's activities. Indiana state Sen. Brent Steele has introduced legislation in response to the group's Aug. 28 protest at a Martinsville, Ind., funeral, where six Westboro members dragged U.S. flags on the ground and shouted at the soldier's family. Steele's bill would make disorderly conduct a felony punishable by a three-year prison sentence and $10,000 fine if committed during military funerals. The proposal includes funeral homes, processions and grave sites. "I've got a lot of people signed onto the bill. It looks like it will pass without trouble," the Bedford, Ind., Republican said. "I don't think there will be a bit of trouble." The bill will be heard in committee Jan. 11. Phelps-Roper, a lawyer like her disbarred father, said any measure would be challenged. The church operates Web sites www.GodHatesFags.com, www.SmellTheBrimstone.com and www.PriestsRapeBoys.com that are filled with intentionally incendiary material. For example, church leaders sent a news release celebrating the deadly Nov. 6 Evansville-area tornado. "Thank God for the Indiana Tornado that killed 22, injured 230 ... We humbly pray for many such visitations of God's wrath on Indiana," they wrote. And this week, they lauded the death of the West Virginia miners and announced plans to picket those funerals as well. Phelps-Roper said death is divine retribution for tolerating homosexuality. "America has sinned away its day of grace," she said. "America is doomed."
My Comments...
There is a video of the musical group the Chieftans I have seen in which they are playing a concert in an old, beautiful irish church. As they are playing, there is a sign on a wall behind them that says 'God is Love'. It is this simple message I meditate on when confronted with such hatred as outlined in the above article.
The two greatest commandments, according to Jesus: Love the good Lord God with your All, and Love your neighbor as yourself.
In the above, I don't see either one of these great commandments being followed, and therefore the viciousness that is evidenced is most definitely unchristian.
While I whole-heartedly disagree with this groups philosophy, I suppose their freedom of speech should not be curtailed, as our men are over in Iraq fighting for such democratic principles.
But how unfortunate that groups such as these should be allowed such freedoms.
