Thursday, August 11, 2005
And so it was, on the first Thursday of the month, when the moon was new and at apogee, beneath a star-filled sky, that Kurt found himself stranded on an island in the midst of the south Pacific.
The moon appeared to be riding low and straight above, and Kurt knew it was riding the equator, so, he figured, he too must be at the equator.
With no sun to warm the beach, Kurt found himself shivering, huddling away from the water and at first hugging close to the thick of the trees on the island.
But what could be in those trees. Kurt's mind dreamt up many creatures he had seen emerge from the beech trees of upper Michigan, from which he came.
Although those creatures were indigenous to the inland forests and lakes and ponds, Kurt felt sure the Tropics would have their fair share of nocturnal animals he'd rather not encounter.
So Kurt thought of the time he had been in Florida, walking along the beach at night, when a loud splash he had heard brought his attention to the incoming tides. He could hear something moving. Something big that seemed to thud and plod along. And then he heard splashing and splaying of saltwater, as if something were trying to fight the tides and get back out to sea.
It was a sea turtle, huge and oily-backed and beautiful, and not at all scary. Just then, two other people were walking by and the three looked at the sea turtle, trying to get ocean going, and talked of what to do.
'We need to get him back out' one said.
Kurt replied, 'the tides are high and the sharks could be in close to the shore. I'm not going in there'.
'Well we need to push the turtle out and at least give him a fighting chance'.
The two new nebulous beachcombers made their way to the sea turtle and began pushing the thing away from shore, following it out behind it's awkward wake.
Kurt could see that they were never going to get the sea turtle out, so he made his way to them and the sea turtle and triangulated behind them.
Not being able to see what his hands were doing, he reached down and felt the slick, smooth oil of the sea turtles back and began to shove in tandem with the other two.
Soon, the rhythm of the waves became apparent and the three were pushing when need be, and relaxing when not.
The three of them and the sea turtle started slowly making it past the breakers into chest deep saltwater.
Gradually, the waves pulled them up off the sea floor, then back down and slightly outward with each passing second.
Finally, the sea turtle slipped from their grip and was gone. Gone as if it had never been with them.
But that was a long time ago.
All Kurt knew was he was ready to take on sea creatures, but not tropical forest creatures.
And so, beneath the ink-blotted canvas of a star filled sky, Kurt decided to build a campfire for warmth.
He combed the beach, which he could see beneath the apogeed moon quite well, and picked up driftwood that had not yet been reached by the incoming waves.
Soon enough, Kurt had a roaring fire going midway between the water mark and the line of trees.
Kurt huddled in front of the fire, feeling safe in the wide open of the beach, away from the blacked out opaque of the trees.
Within an hour, Kurt dozed off, falling into a dream.
He was a little boy. He was climbing a mountain, not tall, arriving at the top and making his way down the backside. Before him another mountain appeared. This one taller, and as he climbed, he could feel it was steeper through his legs. Soon though, he made it to the top and made his way back down again. A third mountain appeared. And so the trip went. Climbing ever steeper mountains in his sleep, when Kurt was awakened by a noise from the brush.
Stopping for a moment, though he had gone nowhere, Kurt listened above the incoming waves of the sea and his own deep breaths.
At first he thought it was nothing, but then he definitely heard a branch break, as if broken underfoot.
Soon, his eyes were sharp enough to make out the figure of a man coming hind quarters out, out of the trees. Kurt could tell nothing else from the shape.
Within seconds, the man had backed his way out of the thicket and continued walking backward toward Kurt and his fire.
Did the man even know he was there?
Gradually, Kurt could make him out.
He was an old man, stooped over wearing what Kurt presumed to be a loincloth.
The man had long, gray hair that fell over his shoulders and back as he walked.
Soon the man straightened up completely and showed himself to be much taller than Kurt had imagined.
Six foot 2"? Kurt thought.
The man now turned completely around to face Kurt and walk toward him with the normal gait most would expect of a man.
His hair obscured his visage, having fallen over his face when he had been stooped over not long ago.
Then the man was standing on the opposite side of the fire from Kurt and motioned to the ground beneath his feet.
Could he sit.
Yes. Kurt motioned, sit.
The man sat down and crossed his legs in front of him, proving quite quick and limber for one his age.
'Hi'.
'Hai' said the old man.
'Who are you'?
The old man held up a balled fist that proved to be quite large and pointed his index finger straight up to the star filled sky, where the moon was riding the equator.
'You are....sky'?
'I am One'.
'Okay....one'.
'How did I get here...on this beach'?
'This is a beach? Oh yes, yes the beach. Yes you are on the beach because I brought you here'.
A thousand thoughts raced through Kurt's mind. He wanted to be at home in his two bedroom house with his wife and son, Kaitlin and Camron. He wanted to be driving to work in his Subaru four cylinder that got good city miles. He wanted to be....awake.
'You better wake up'.
'But I am awake'.
'So' the old man said. 'Who are you?'
'Oh, I am Kurt, I live in Fort City, Michigan with my wife...'
'But you are' and the man held up two fingers.
'I am.... peace...no wait I remember, I am two. Wait, I am Two. You are One and I am Two'.
'You are a fairly quick learner'.
'Well I try'.
'So why did you bring me here'?
'Well, there are many lessons in life to learn, and you're not learning the important ones, young man'.
'Well, as I was saying, I am Kurt, Kurt from Fort City and I am married and I have a son'.
'But' the old man said, 'You have no wife and you have no son. That is the cruelest Illusion for one your age'.
As soon as the words left the old man's lips, Kurt felt a complete emptiness in his soul. He felt completely and utterly alone and knew that Kaitlin and Camron were gone. His family was wiped clean, and there was just him left with the old man.
A single tear made it's way from Kurt's eye and rolled down his left cheek.
'Where did they go'?
'They could have gone anywhere. They could be nineteenth century Quakers or twenthieth century Amish. They could be two doors down from you, but they are completely and utterly apart from you, as you feel already'.
Kurt's mind began racing again. He was in Sunday school and his teacher was teaching him to pray. For the Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.
'But that's a problem' the old man said.
'You need to be Quiet'.
'But how can I be quiet? You've just told me my wife and son are gone, and I feel it, and I'm not going to be quiet'.
'But if you're Quiet, they may come back'.
Quiet.
Kurt sat still.
'There you go now you're learning something...that you have to be Still'.
'First be quiet, then be still. I feel like I'm back in third grade'!
'So you've been in this place before? You learned to be Still and Quiet before'?
'Well I wasn't here. I was in a classroom. With Mrs Framingham....'
'What was her name'?
'Wait, yes, her name was One. One taught me to be still and quiet'.
'You know, you're not the only one who's been separated from your family'.
The old man pulled his still crossed legs up to his chest and wrapped his lean but muscular arms around them and stared into the fire, and Kurt knew the old man was seeing things well beyond the flames.
It had never occurred to Kurt that the loss of a family caused so much physical pain, emptiness and alonness. He reflected on friends who had been divorced or lost a spouse to cancer and suddenly realized how they had truly felt. He knew the emptiness he had felt in losing his own family was the emptiness felt by those friends and now even still by the old man.
'Yes that's a great secret they never tell you. What truly unites you to your fellow man is suffering. More specifically, suffering for loss, whatever that loss may be'.
Kurt had to get up now and walk.
'Where are you going'?
'I need to walk. I need to wake up. I need Kai...'
'But Kaitlin is gone'.
Yes Kaitlin was gone.
Kurt sat back down, crossing his legs the best he could in front of the old man.
'So do you see that you are looking in a mirror'? asked the old man.
'What do you mean? There're no mirrors on this island'.
The old man raised his arms till they were horizontal to the beach, stretching them as wide as he seemingly could. Then he swept them forward until his palms clapped and hesitated just for one moment. Then he drew his palms into his chest, forcing his elbows out until his fingertips were pointing to the moon riding the equator at apogee and then with the palms still together, raised both hands to the sky, straightening out his arms in smooth lines. Slowly, he brought his hands back down until they rested once again at his side. He looked relaxed, but seemed to be sitting even straighter than before.
'When you look in a mirror, is the reflection embedded in the glass, or is the reflection reflected back to your eyes'?
'Well of course the reflection reaches the eyes'.
'And where does it go from there'?
'Well to my optic nerve I suppose'.
'And from the optic nerve'?
'Yes the reflection winds up in my brain'.
'So you see you are seeing a reflection that is transmitted from your optic nerve to your brain'?
'Yes yes, I suppose in some way I am looking at myself when I see the reflection'.
'So what do you see when you look at me'? Asked the old man.
'I see myself'.
'Shhh...be Quiet now'
'Be Still'.
'See yourself in others' said the old man.
'I think you're waking up now'.
Later that day at the office, Kurt didn't remember the alarm going off on his nightstand. He just remembered the hectic morning with Kaitlin getting Camron ready for school, the three of them taking turns in the shower and then the bathroom, racing to get on with the day.
He didn't even remember the dream within a dream he had experienced.
But for some reason, he took off work early and watched Camron in his music program, which he had not planned on attending, and enjoyed a Quiet evening at home with his wife and son.
The moon appeared to be riding low and straight above, and Kurt knew it was riding the equator, so, he figured, he too must be at the equator.
With no sun to warm the beach, Kurt found himself shivering, huddling away from the water and at first hugging close to the thick of the trees on the island.
But what could be in those trees. Kurt's mind dreamt up many creatures he had seen emerge from the beech trees of upper Michigan, from which he came.
Although those creatures were indigenous to the inland forests and lakes and ponds, Kurt felt sure the Tropics would have their fair share of nocturnal animals he'd rather not encounter.
So Kurt thought of the time he had been in Florida, walking along the beach at night, when a loud splash he had heard brought his attention to the incoming tides. He could hear something moving. Something big that seemed to thud and plod along. And then he heard splashing and splaying of saltwater, as if something were trying to fight the tides and get back out to sea.
It was a sea turtle, huge and oily-backed and beautiful, and not at all scary. Just then, two other people were walking by and the three looked at the sea turtle, trying to get ocean going, and talked of what to do.
'We need to get him back out' one said.
Kurt replied, 'the tides are high and the sharks could be in close to the shore. I'm not going in there'.
'Well we need to push the turtle out and at least give him a fighting chance'.
The two new nebulous beachcombers made their way to the sea turtle and began pushing the thing away from shore, following it out behind it's awkward wake.
Kurt could see that they were never going to get the sea turtle out, so he made his way to them and the sea turtle and triangulated behind them.
Not being able to see what his hands were doing, he reached down and felt the slick, smooth oil of the sea turtles back and began to shove in tandem with the other two.
Soon, the rhythm of the waves became apparent and the three were pushing when need be, and relaxing when not.
The three of them and the sea turtle started slowly making it past the breakers into chest deep saltwater.
Gradually, the waves pulled them up off the sea floor, then back down and slightly outward with each passing second.
Finally, the sea turtle slipped from their grip and was gone. Gone as if it had never been with them.
But that was a long time ago.
All Kurt knew was he was ready to take on sea creatures, but not tropical forest creatures.
And so, beneath the ink-blotted canvas of a star filled sky, Kurt decided to build a campfire for warmth.
He combed the beach, which he could see beneath the apogeed moon quite well, and picked up driftwood that had not yet been reached by the incoming waves.
Soon enough, Kurt had a roaring fire going midway between the water mark and the line of trees.
Kurt huddled in front of the fire, feeling safe in the wide open of the beach, away from the blacked out opaque of the trees.
Within an hour, Kurt dozed off, falling into a dream.
He was a little boy. He was climbing a mountain, not tall, arriving at the top and making his way down the backside. Before him another mountain appeared. This one taller, and as he climbed, he could feel it was steeper through his legs. Soon though, he made it to the top and made his way back down again. A third mountain appeared. And so the trip went. Climbing ever steeper mountains in his sleep, when Kurt was awakened by a noise from the brush.
Stopping for a moment, though he had gone nowhere, Kurt listened above the incoming waves of the sea and his own deep breaths.
At first he thought it was nothing, but then he definitely heard a branch break, as if broken underfoot.
Soon, his eyes were sharp enough to make out the figure of a man coming hind quarters out, out of the trees. Kurt could tell nothing else from the shape.
Within seconds, the man had backed his way out of the thicket and continued walking backward toward Kurt and his fire.
Did the man even know he was there?
Gradually, Kurt could make him out.
He was an old man, stooped over wearing what Kurt presumed to be a loincloth.
The man had long, gray hair that fell over his shoulders and back as he walked.
Soon the man straightened up completely and showed himself to be much taller than Kurt had imagined.
Six foot 2"? Kurt thought.
The man now turned completely around to face Kurt and walk toward him with the normal gait most would expect of a man.
His hair obscured his visage, having fallen over his face when he had been stooped over not long ago.
Then the man was standing on the opposite side of the fire from Kurt and motioned to the ground beneath his feet.
Could he sit.
Yes. Kurt motioned, sit.
The man sat down and crossed his legs in front of him, proving quite quick and limber for one his age.
'Hi'.
'Hai' said the old man.
'Who are you'?
The old man held up a balled fist that proved to be quite large and pointed his index finger straight up to the star filled sky, where the moon was riding the equator.
'You are....sky'?
'I am One'.
'Okay....one'.
'How did I get here...on this beach'?
'This is a beach? Oh yes, yes the beach. Yes you are on the beach because I brought you here'.
A thousand thoughts raced through Kurt's mind. He wanted to be at home in his two bedroom house with his wife and son, Kaitlin and Camron. He wanted to be driving to work in his Subaru four cylinder that got good city miles. He wanted to be....awake.
'You better wake up'.
'But I am awake'.
'So' the old man said. 'Who are you?'
'Oh, I am Kurt, I live in Fort City, Michigan with my wife...'
'But you are' and the man held up two fingers.
'I am.... peace...no wait I remember, I am two. Wait, I am Two. You are One and I am Two'.
'You are a fairly quick learner'.
'Well I try'.
'So why did you bring me here'?
'Well, there are many lessons in life to learn, and you're not learning the important ones, young man'.
'Well, as I was saying, I am Kurt, Kurt from Fort City and I am married and I have a son'.
'But' the old man said, 'You have no wife and you have no son. That is the cruelest Illusion for one your age'.
As soon as the words left the old man's lips, Kurt felt a complete emptiness in his soul. He felt completely and utterly alone and knew that Kaitlin and Camron were gone. His family was wiped clean, and there was just him left with the old man.
A single tear made it's way from Kurt's eye and rolled down his left cheek.
'Where did they go'?
'They could have gone anywhere. They could be nineteenth century Quakers or twenthieth century Amish. They could be two doors down from you, but they are completely and utterly apart from you, as you feel already'.
Kurt's mind began racing again. He was in Sunday school and his teacher was teaching him to pray. For the Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.
'But that's a problem' the old man said.
'You need to be Quiet'.
'But how can I be quiet? You've just told me my wife and son are gone, and I feel it, and I'm not going to be quiet'.
'But if you're Quiet, they may come back'.
Quiet.
Kurt sat still.
'There you go now you're learning something...that you have to be Still'.
'First be quiet, then be still. I feel like I'm back in third grade'!
'So you've been in this place before? You learned to be Still and Quiet before'?
'Well I wasn't here. I was in a classroom. With Mrs Framingham....'
'What was her name'?
'Wait, yes, her name was One. One taught me to be still and quiet'.
'You know, you're not the only one who's been separated from your family'.
The old man pulled his still crossed legs up to his chest and wrapped his lean but muscular arms around them and stared into the fire, and Kurt knew the old man was seeing things well beyond the flames.
It had never occurred to Kurt that the loss of a family caused so much physical pain, emptiness and alonness. He reflected on friends who had been divorced or lost a spouse to cancer and suddenly realized how they had truly felt. He knew the emptiness he had felt in losing his own family was the emptiness felt by those friends and now even still by the old man.
'Yes that's a great secret they never tell you. What truly unites you to your fellow man is suffering. More specifically, suffering for loss, whatever that loss may be'.
Kurt had to get up now and walk.
'Where are you going'?
'I need to walk. I need to wake up. I need Kai...'
'But Kaitlin is gone'.
Yes Kaitlin was gone.
Kurt sat back down, crossing his legs the best he could in front of the old man.
'So do you see that you are looking in a mirror'? asked the old man.
'What do you mean? There're no mirrors on this island'.
The old man raised his arms till they were horizontal to the beach, stretching them as wide as he seemingly could. Then he swept them forward until his palms clapped and hesitated just for one moment. Then he drew his palms into his chest, forcing his elbows out until his fingertips were pointing to the moon riding the equator at apogee and then with the palms still together, raised both hands to the sky, straightening out his arms in smooth lines. Slowly, he brought his hands back down until they rested once again at his side. He looked relaxed, but seemed to be sitting even straighter than before.
'When you look in a mirror, is the reflection embedded in the glass, or is the reflection reflected back to your eyes'?
'Well of course the reflection reaches the eyes'.
'And where does it go from there'?
'Well to my optic nerve I suppose'.
'And from the optic nerve'?
'Yes the reflection winds up in my brain'.
'So you see you are seeing a reflection that is transmitted from your optic nerve to your brain'?
'Yes yes, I suppose in some way I am looking at myself when I see the reflection'.
'So what do you see when you look at me'? Asked the old man.
'I see myself'.
'Shhh...be Quiet now'
'Be Still'.
'See yourself in others' said the old man.
'I think you're waking up now'.
Later that day at the office, Kurt didn't remember the alarm going off on his nightstand. He just remembered the hectic morning with Kaitlin getting Camron ready for school, the three of them taking turns in the shower and then the bathroom, racing to get on with the day.
He didn't even remember the dream within a dream he had experienced.
But for some reason, he took off work early and watched Camron in his music program, which he had not planned on attending, and enjoyed a Quiet evening at home with his wife and son.
