Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Why I am a Christian who has a healthy appreciation for Paganism
I had three nervous breakdowns.
I had mystical experiences that had no Biblical basis.
I realized that though I attended church at least once a week, I did not respect my family, both immediate and extended, or treat strangers kindly.
I did not want to have friends.
It was all about numero uno.
In addition, I wondered about what world Christianity was born into.
Who were these Greeks and Romans Paul preached to?
What did they believe?
I wanted to get to the first principles of things.
And our educational system.
Where are the studies of mathematics, grammar, science and so on found in the Bible?
I realized there was a large gulf in the Judeo-Christian ethos and postmodern life.
I had questions about suffering and the nature of evil.
In the Biblical Scriptures, I could find no real justification for Yahweh to be on friendly terms with Satan, to the point He allowed Satan to torture His servant, Job.
Because I suffered too, and God was silent.
And I realized I was not the only one suffering, but that this suffering was manifold throughout the world, and that misery in many cases was the rule and not the exception.
In order for me to be able to get through the day, and night, I needed to look elsewhere to make any rhyme or reason of the world I was living in.
Because if there was one thing I needed, it was a reason to carry on.
So I would say my Faith was tested, and I was found wanting.
My answers to my suffering couldn't come from the Canon alone.
I had to search, and supplement.
I still read the Bible and am comforted by Scriptures.
the 23rd Psalm, the Beattitudes, the Gospel of John and so forth.
But when I was really being put to the fire, my suffering was not alleviated by church and Scripture alone.
I took refuge, as did Boethius, in the consolation of philosophy.
I had three nervous breakdowns.
I had mystical experiences that had no Biblical basis.
I realized that though I attended church at least once a week, I did not respect my family, both immediate and extended, or treat strangers kindly.
I did not want to have friends.
It was all about numero uno.
In addition, I wondered about what world Christianity was born into.
Who were these Greeks and Romans Paul preached to?
What did they believe?
I wanted to get to the first principles of things.
And our educational system.
Where are the studies of mathematics, grammar, science and so on found in the Bible?
I realized there was a large gulf in the Judeo-Christian ethos and postmodern life.
I had questions about suffering and the nature of evil.
In the Biblical Scriptures, I could find no real justification for Yahweh to be on friendly terms with Satan, to the point He allowed Satan to torture His servant, Job.
Because I suffered too, and God was silent.
And I realized I was not the only one suffering, but that this suffering was manifold throughout the world, and that misery in many cases was the rule and not the exception.
In order for me to be able to get through the day, and night, I needed to look elsewhere to make any rhyme or reason of the world I was living in.
Because if there was one thing I needed, it was a reason to carry on.
So I would say my Faith was tested, and I was found wanting.
My answers to my suffering couldn't come from the Canon alone.
I had to search, and supplement.
I still read the Bible and am comforted by Scriptures.
the 23rd Psalm, the Beattitudes, the Gospel of John and so forth.
But when I was really being put to the fire, my suffering was not alleviated by church and Scripture alone.
I took refuge, as did Boethius, in the consolation of philosophy.
